Scots Wha Hae..

Cars yes, Sushi no.

Yesterday Donington hosted JapFest2.  It was not a celebration of Japanese art, food and culture.  But, as you might guess – this being a racing circuit, it was a supersized track-day for Japanese performance cars.  There were diversions such as drift taxis, a bouncy castle and dune buggy rides. Car clubs parked up for a bit of ‘show & shine’ and a few vendors set up shop in the paddock selling polish, custom paint jobs, tyres, performance parts and of course performance audio.

As far as the Kiosk is concerned these kinds of events can be more hectic than any race day, because there isn’t any competition; no feature race to take everyone away. It is busy, busy, busy! Unfortunately, for us, a guy in one of the clubs which had parked opposite the shop, took it upon himself to be DJ of the day. The cavernous kiosk became a hellish den of sonic, bass reverberation; the echo and vibration were totally numbing. I hate to be a kill-joy, but the sound and sensation were giving me homicidal tendencies, so I finally had to go over a ask for some respite. Thankfully, after much cajoling, and threat of a decibel check, he finally agreed to turn the bass down!!   aaaaahhhhhhhhh (sigh of relief and shoulders going down).

Given the setting you’d imagine that the review this week would be Performance Imports, Banzai or Car Audio; magazines de rigueur. However, the nation’s desperation for victory was on every Sunday paper. This was Wimbledon and the men’s singles final: Andy Murray vs Rodger Federer. So, never mind the British Grand Prix, tennis fever and the headlines took over.

The People and the Star gave the biggest cringe factor; the former was riddled with questionable puns, and word play such as ”Andy’s my Sonsation”; the latter referred to Murray and Federer as ”Muzza & Fezza”.  Read no more..

The Mirror called him Andy Messi, comparing the Scot to Lionel Messi, the Argentinian soccer ace. They have a similar victory salute of two fingers pointing to the heavens. Maybe they both learned that in Barcelona.

Of the four ”red top” papers, it was the Sun which gave the best laugh by supplying a free Murray mask to cut out.  Thankfully it was a clean-shaven and smiling version, although it proved difficult to serve customers whilst wearing it.

..invasion of the Kiosk Clones..

The Mail on Sunday now, and it’s all about prayers, omens, coincidences and curses.  Now we know the results we see that after waiting for seventy six years the fates got the names mixed up: Marray or Murray?  [A Yorkshireman, Jonathan Marray, was one of the winners of the men’s doubles final on Saturday!]  What a difference an ‘A’ makes, and twenty four little hours..

Inside the Mail was a Come on Andy victory hat, with folding instructions.  A handy companion to the mask. The Express was simply Murray Mania, but the top half of the cover page was free cake and travel kits.  Being totally weather obsessed, they couldn’t resist a flood update on the sidebar.

Hoodoo, Bunny Austin and Fred Perry bring sport to the front pages of the Telegraph; on the Times it’s show me the money and the £100 million purse up for grabs to the winner of the match; the Observer focused on black market tickets;  the Independent uniquely went for Scottish patriotism quoting Scots Wha Hae,  Robbie Burns’ ode to Robert the Bruce: ”Now is the Day, Now is the Hour”.

Sadly though it was not to be Andy Murray’s day. But keep those hats and masks at the ready, for a Scotsman full of porage oats will not stop trying.


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